How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...