Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?