Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge

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  (305) 1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge http://tfl.nu/8lgu
  Replies (5) Good night (814) Bad night (1693) Order T-Shirt
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

  (1-475): View more from Connecticut

  exact location. now.

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  (475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v
  Replies (26) Good night (1461) Bad night (3429) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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  (763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481
  Replies (16) Good night (4871) Bad night (703)
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6679) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you

  (917): View more from New York City

  Those had pot in them

  (917): View more from New York City

  And good luck on your interview asshole

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  (917): If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you (917): Those had pot in them (917): And good luck on your interview asshole http://tfl.nu/911g
  Replies (51) Good night (17103) Bad night (1386)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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  (585): If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays http://tfl.nu/yd37
  Replies (10) Good night (3792) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.

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  (510): Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret. http://tfl.nu/p1m5
  Replies (2) Good night (905) Bad night (3414) Order T-Shirt
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working

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  (289): Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working http://tfl.nu/bi46
  Replies (3) Good night (938) Bad night (3677) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (1853) Bad night (1451) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.

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  (701): I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with. http://tfl.nu/j9h4
  Replies (4) Good night (1599) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

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  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs

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  (860): You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs http://tfl.nu/mobo
  Replies (6) Good night (642) Bad night (1820) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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  (306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1090) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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  (443): So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses.. http://tfl.nu/gsxe
  Replies (14) Good night (1663) Bad night (439)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club

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  (206): The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club http://tfl.nu/n7qr
  Replies (6) Good night (679) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt

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