I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
