My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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