I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
