I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
