i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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