i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
