And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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