I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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