One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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