That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
