You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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