drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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