I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
