I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We're not piercing ourselves today.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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