NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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