We're like a lot better than the average bears
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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