That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
