Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
