I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
two words...techno handjob
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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