ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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