Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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