I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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