I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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