wakey wakey hands off snakey
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
