Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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