I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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