Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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