I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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