then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
