Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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