She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
