After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
