so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
