i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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