So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize