I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
