Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i believe in u and ur pee
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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