Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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