just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
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