I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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