Midget sex pt 2 tonight
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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