I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
