i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me