piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
