i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
