I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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