Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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