my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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