Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
