great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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