Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
