Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
