You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
