i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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