i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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